Not So Merry Christmas

I love Christmas time.

I enjoy the Fall leading up to Thanksgiving evening when Christmas lights start coming on. I love all of the holiday themed desserts and drinks that become available. I love seeing the decorations pop up around the city/town. It makes me happy to hear Christmas music being played...well, pretty much everywhere. I love how churches really focus on the meaning of Christmas...how God loved us so much that He sent Jesus.

This Christmas, however, isn't quite as "merry" as some in years past.

Although Kyle and I love Houston and are really enjoying exploring the city...the fact remains that we're still newbies, and haven't really formed a lot of friendships outside of work. So, we won't be going to any Christmas parties (work doesn't count...so awkward) or friends' houses just to hang out and drink hot chocolate. No Christmas shopping with my Mom or friends. And, let's face it...it's 75 degrees. It doesn't even feel like Christmas.

I never put a lot of stock in Christmas cards, but this year, the people that have actually taken the time to get our new address and send us a card...it means a lot. (It also says something about our landlord who is getting still getting Christmas cards at our rent house...they haven't lived in that house in four years.) By the way, that's not meant to be a guilt trip...just how I feel.

To top it all off, my family won't all be together this year. I should mention that very few of our Christmas's were ever "normal". Our family is somewhat scattered, so Christmas was a little different every year growing up, but it was always fun. This year, our family is, um, going through some reconstruction. I'm not blaming anyone or pointing fingers...it's just the reality of the situation, and this is part of it. But as a really good friend just reminded me...we may not all be together, but all of the love is still there and I have a lot to be thankful for. I needed to hear that...because she's right.

I did take another friend's advice, though. We were talking about the doldrums of being in limbo moving/living-wise, and she told me to make sure and decorate for the holidays. It helps give you a sense of normalcy. So I did. I didn't get everything out simply because I either don't know where it is, or I can't get to it, but I decorated a small tree, put out our stockings...that sort of thing. It helps a little.

I think I'm going to make Kyle go with me this weekend to go drive around looking at Christmas lights, and perhaps attempt navigating a mall. I'm also going to do some holiday baking this coming weekend. I love to bake and make things for people, so that's what I'm going to do. Plus, the folks at work will eat almost anything...whether it's good or not. The thought of being in our new house this time next year also helps keep my mood afloat. I can't wait to decorate it for Christmas...inside and out. And having double convection ovens to make Christmas treats with...it makes me giddy!

For this year, though...I'm going to (figuratively) tuck Kyle under one arm and Gus, my dog, under the other and trudge through like I know how.